New Year's Resolutions for Catholics

It is just about time for New Year's Resolutions! Here are some suggestions from the America Needs Fatima site (via Catholic Fire).

1. Be honest. Know yourself. What is your strongest virtue? What is your worst vice? Therefore, tailor your resolution so it strengthens your good side and fights your bad one. A one-size fits all resolution is useless.

2. Be specific. Don’t use generalities. They don’t work. For example, if you need to be more humble, just saying “I am going to be more humble,” is useless. You need to zero in on one situation where you need to practice humility and resolve to improve in that one situation.

3. Be simple. Don’t make it complicated. Focus on something you can see and measure easily and that does not overwhelm you each time you try to obtain it. Otherwise, you will become distracted and your energy will be dispersed and misdirected.

4. Be reasonable. Don’t try to do too much at once. You won’t become a saint in one day. Remember: every soul has one MAJOR point upon which is hinged his or her entire fidelity to God and His Holy Laws. Find out and work on improving that key point. You’ll see how everything else will improve if you improve on that one major point.

5. Be consistent. It’s far better to do something small everyday to improve on that one key point in your soul than to make a big resolution that you cannot keep for more than a week or two. Slow and steady wins the race!

6. Be humble. Recognize that you cannot do any good action which has value in the supernatural order without God’s grace and the intercessory help of the Blessed Mother. Beg God’s grace through Our Lady’s intercession constantly in all your thoughts, desires and actions

7. Be disinterested. Remember that God wants us to defend His rights and interests, and to share His thoughts and ways. And therefore, to focus on things, happening and events that are very close to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary that are not necessarily linked to our own personal interests.

8. Write it down. It’s important to write down your resolution so you can refer back to it often during the year. Also, by writing it down, you will be able to review it when the year is over, and to evaluate your progress since the time the resolution was made.

9. Public expressions of faith. Don’t hide your faith. That’s just what the devil wants. He knows when you express your faith publicly, others see you and are encouraged to follow your good example. Say grace openly and proudly before meals in a restaurant so people can see. You’ll be surprised with the good reactions you will get.

10. Devotion to Our Lady. Have more devotion to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Devotion to the Mother of God is a panacea. Saint Louis de Montfort said that devotion to Holy Mary is the easiest, safest, fastest, most secure, and surest path to Jesus and to our own salvation. If you can nothing else, resolve to say the Rosary everyday. Saint Louis de Montfort wrote:

“If you say the Rosary faithfully until death, I do assure you that, in spite of the gravity of your sins 'you shall receive a never-fading crown of glory.' Even if you are on the brink of damnation, even if you have one foot in hell, even if you have sold your soul to the devil as sorcerers do who practice black magic, and even if you are a heretic as obstinate as a devil, sooner or later you will be converted and will amend your life and will save your soul, if-- and mark well what I say-- if you say the Holy Rosary devoutly every day until death for the purpose of knowing the truth and obtaining contrition and pardon for your sins."

A New Year's Resolution: Charity in Discussion

The following comes from Dr. Jeff Mirus at Catholic Culture:

When I reflect on my own interaction with critics over the past year, I recall those occasions when I was decidedly not conciliatory. And in surveying various discussion groups, including some consisting only of dedicated Catholics, I’ve overheard my share of vitriolic exchanges. We’ve come to expect a low level of social discourse in political discussion, led by political advertising and the verbal maneuvering of televised debates. But there is something wrong—something spiritually wrong—when the same problem afflicts religious discussions.

Hilaire Belloc wisely wrote that the grace of God is in courtesy. Nobody likes being ignored, ridiculed, insulted or otherwise abused. Everybody appreciates being treated with respect and listened to as if his ideas matter. And while not everyone has good ideas, everyone’s ideas do matter. They give us clues to the personality, to the strengths and weaknesses of a particular character, and—perhaps most important—to the needs of a brother or sister in a family that ultimately belongs to God.

But the Christian’s call goes far beyond the mere appearance of courtesy. Our Lord requires of us a courtesy motivated by something deeper, namely charity. We all know this, yet again and again, as soon we find ourselves on opposite sides of an issue, we tend to plug our ears and hold our noses—when we should be opening our ears and biting our tongues.

Sometimes, of course, we find ourselves under deliberate and even malicious attack. At CatholicCulture.org, we receive numerous messages through our Contact form in which “unregistered visitors” simply open fire on the Faith, the Church and those who write for the site. Sometimes it is wisest to ignore such messages, especially if the nature of the correspondence and the available time suggest that we will not be in a position to make a positive impact. Similarly, there will be times when any Catholic will have little choice but to extricate himself as politely as possible from an unpleasant personal confrontation.

But often we are faced with disagreements caused by approaching similar questions from different directions or backgrounds, in which animosity, if any, is largely incidental. In such cases, both charity and good sense demand that we hold our fire long enough to understand the values and principles which have led to a contradictory statement. We need to determine, first, whether we’ve missed something significant in either our own thoughts or, as is quite likely, in our own brief comments on the subject at hand. Second, we must discover the strengths and weaknesses of this rival point of view so that we can address the comments reasonably, and even generously.

And third, precisely as a matter of charity, we are called to discern the motivation of our would-be opponent so that we can figure out whether there is something incomplete, weak or broken which cries out for help and healing. Who knows if Our Lord might choose to bestow a grace here through an unworthy servant—through you or me—if we can but hold ourselves open for the task.

This readiness to be used as a means of grace is admittedly difficult to maintain. We are proud, which translates into an excessive attachment to our own ideas, along with a corresponding contempt for contrary ideas and those who express them. And because we are proud, we are also very prickly, taking offense easily, and prone to unseemly distress when contradicted. We seem to be able to recognize the absurdity of such reactions only when we have no stake in the game.

Those of us with dogmatic personalities—and that includes many who take the Faith seriously in a hostile culture—have an additional spiritual hurdle, because we so often confuse our commitment to God’s principles with our own self-importance as God’s spokesmen. This can lead to a habit of self-righteous indignation, as if we must denounce others in defense of Christ, though to be sure He has already indicated His complete willingness to suffer disrespect in order to win hearts. This is usually a case of the servant not really following the Master.

Moreover, we have a tendency to assume that because we know we are right about some things—namely, the dogmas of the Faith—therefore we must be right about everything. But because we have the privilege of accepting the truths of Catholicism, it does not follow that our pastoral preferences are infallible, or our political insight, or our social theories, or our ability to separate truth from falsehood in other fields, or even our spiritual perception. Why then do we pronounce as Catholics on virtually everything under the sun with the same certainty which we ought to reserve for the most basic precepts of the catechism? How easily do all men and women assume the rightness of their own judgments! But in Catholics, who ought to know that they depend at all times on the most generous gifts of God, this belief in our own perfection is a particularly offensive fault.

Here's a sobering thought: The next person to contradict us (or to contradict the Church) may actually be at an early stage of his own interior journey home. Now it just so happens that, for better or worse, in almost every discussion we ourselves represent home. A harsh word now may drive this person away. A good rule of thumb is that we need to know someone extremely well and have a pre-existing relationship with him if we are to be in any position to speak harshly, and then only as a last resort. We dare not break the bruised reed or quench the smoldering wick (Is 42:3; applied to Christ in Mt 12:20). But I know I have done it. Have you?

Therefore, as we begin a new year and consider our own resolutions, I’d like to recommend that we all strive to discuss the issues that animate CatholicCulture.org with greater charity. I don’t mean so much on the website itself, for we have precious little opportunity for discussion here, except for just a bit of it in Sound Off! or via email. I am referring instead to the deliberate and persistent cultivation of charity in our discussions with those who are not part of the CatholicCulture.org family.

Our purpose—the purpose of all those who take seriously the issues presented through CatholicCulture.org—is to enrich faith, strengthen the Church and form Catholic culture. These tasks are, inescapably, oriented toward others. None of this can be done without love and, in most cases, the first opportunity to show love is in how we talk with others.

Charity in discussion: This could easily be the most important thing we accomplish in the New Year and beyond.

A New Year, New Beginnings and Resolutions

The following comes from the International Catholic Stewardship Council:

The practice of making New Year's resolutions goes back over 3000 years. The start of a New Year gives us the feeling of a fresh start, a new beginning, and new opportunities. It is a time when people feel that they can begin anew with their lives. Common New Year's resolutions are to lose weight, exercise more and eat healthier; or to spend more time with family. Still others include managing money better and being more organized.

Although there is nothing in the Bible or notable in Christian tradition about New Year's resolutions, many good stewards take advantage of this time of year to become closer to the Lord. They may re-commit themselves to pray more, to read the Bible, or to attend Mass more regularly. If you are looking for some helps in your New Year's resolutions, here are a few ideas to get you started:

Practice gratitude – Cultivating a grateful heart is the hallmark of a Christian steward. Every day, express thankfulness to the Lord and to others. Seeing the good in your life will allow you to keep your heart compassionate and loving.

Encounter the Lord each day – Find time to be with the Lord each day, whether it be for an hour or ten minutes. Have a conversation with the Lord. Give your joys and worries to Him as well. Allow God's love to transform them. Our encounters will keep our eyes and ears open to the presence of Christ in our midst.

Be present to others – There is much celebration and mourning, joy and sorrow in peoples' lives. What a blessing it is to be able to share those times and not let others experience them alone. The gift of your presence to others is much more valuable than you realize.

Resist overwork – There is a pressure to produce, meet goals, be successful. But activities that lead us to overwork, constant fatigue and worry do not give glory to God. What God calls us to do we can do well. Be mindful that life requires balance, down time and letting go of unrealistic goals.

Nurture friendships – Our friends are those we choose to be with, those with whom we spend our evenings, with whom we vacation, to whom we go to for advice. Friends are gifts from God who give us a greater appreciation of God's love for us. Friends need our time and love.

Give more – Good stewards realize that everything they have is entrusted to them as gift to be shared. There is no better place to begin than sharing with the community that gathers around the Lord's table at Mass. Consider what you are giving to your parish and local diocese and commit to an even greater contribution as circumstances allow.

Make a difference in your parish community – Believe it or not, your parish community can use your talents. Offering your talents to your faith community is one of the most effective ways to feel useful and connected to others, and it is a potentially life-changing New Year's resolution.

Consider living more simply – We cannot find fulfillment in possessions. They add nothing to our self-worth. Jesus blessed the "poor in spirit" in his Sermon on the Mount; and Saint Francis of Assisi urged us to live with only what was necessary, for that is how we begin to find God.

Get healthy – Studies show that most people in North America are accelerating their own decline into premature old age, owing to poor diet and lack of physical activity. Be a good steward of your body. Plan a complete overhaul of your diet and exercise habits.

Don't give up – People give up their New Year's resolutions because of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations. So take it slow, be kind to yourself and keep trying. Resist the urge to throw your hands up and quit. You succeed through small, manageable changes over time.

Turn to the Lord – Ask the Lord for guidance, strength and perseverance in achieving your resolutions. In his letter to the Phillipians, Saint Paul writes: "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" (Phil 4:13). If God is the center of our New Year's resolutions, they have a better chance for success.

The Work of the Holy Spirit

The “Secret” to Becoming Better in 2010

Do you want to become a better person in 2010? Here is the advice given by the Art of Manliness site:

It’s a new year, a time for both gazing into the future and reflecting on the past. As you look back on the last year, how do you feel about the way it went? Do you have the sinking feeling that you are in the same place mentally/professionally/romantically/spiritually that you were 12 months ago? That the only thing that’s changed is the date on the calendar?

There are always a lot of tips given out this time of year about how to make and keep resolutions and make the next year better than the last.

But I have only one “secret” to impart: discipline. It is the key to unlocking your potential and finally moving forward with your life.

The reason you still haven’t finished that book you started last January but have spent several hours surfing the internet every day? A lack of discipline. The reason that you want to propose to your girlfriend or have kids but keep holding back? You’re afraid you don’t have the discipline to be successful at those endeavors. The reason you’re still just as fat as last time you ate that cream puff before making a new resolution? A lack of discipline. The reason you haven’t made any progress on starting that side business, and your house is a dump, and you feel like your life is slipping away? No discipline!

Discipline is essentially the ability to put off what we want in the moment for what we want in the long run. By now, almost everyone is familiar with the famous marshmallow experiment run by Dr. Walter Mischel. Four year old children were each given one marshmallow. They could either eat the marshmallow immediately, or, if they waited 15 minutes for the lab assistant to return, receive another marshmallow, thus doubling their prize. The kids who were able to wait generally went on to become successful and well adjusted adults, while the kids who gobbled the first marshmallow had more trouble dealing with stress, frustration, and impulse control.

We all probably imagine ourselves as the kid who would have waited for the second marshmallow. And maybe you would have. But even the most disciplined among us have areas in our lives where we’re failing. Areas where we’re just middling by and it’s absolutely eating at us, knowing how much potential we have and how we’re not utilizing it.

Everyone wants a secret or hack on how to be more disciplined. But there isn’t one. It is simply a matter of training your mind to do what you want it to do. Of saying a resounding “No!” to the things that waste your life and your time. You decide what you really want out of life and you go for it. That’s it.

But here are some thing to think over to help your frame of mind, for as Dr. Mischel says, “We can’t control the world, but we can control how we think about it.”

Stop thinking of your “flaw” as part of your identity. Part of why it’s hard to make changes in our lives, why we find ourselves unsuccessful in changing our habits, is that we rationalize our weaknesses as simply part of “who we are.” We assuage our guilt but adopting them as part of our identity, as part of our shtick.

We’re the jolly fat guy who makes self-deprecating jokes and amazes people with how many slices of pizza he can wolf down. We’re the funny drunk who always gets totally plastered and cracks everyone up with our antics. We’re a night owl, dammit! That’s how we roll, burning the midnight oil! We’re the player, not because we can’t keep a girlfriend but just because we crush a lot!

We do so much rationalizing that it can be downright painful to change; we feel like we’re losing a part of ourselves. Maybe our habits aren’t making us happy, but at least they give us the stability of an identity, the comfort of routine. What happens when the fat guy slims down and the drunk gets sober? Who are we then?

When it’s time to shape up your life, it’s crucial to replace your old identity with a new one; it’s the same concept that applies to changing your habits. Instead of being the jolly fat guy, become the super fit, former fat guy who loves being active. Instead of being a playah, become known as the guy women would love to date, a true gentleman.

Stop being haunted by the ghost of your mom. Whenever part of you wants to become more disciplined, another part of you cries out, “We don’t have to follow anybody’s rules! Nobody puts baby in the corner!” Your mind often identifies this voice as your inner-rebel, the part of you that feels an affinity for James Dean. This voice flatters your identity. You’re not lazy, you’re a rebel!

But the voice is really your eight your old self. And he’s crying out against mom’s rules.

Whenever a man first leaves home, he begins to test his boundaries; away from his parents’ prying eyes, he is enamored with his new found freedom. Many men, like myself, saw their grade point averages bottom out during freshman year of college for this very reason.

This is actually a healthy process (provided you don’t flunk out or get a girl pregnant or something). Part of growing up is exploring and breaking your old rules and finding out how you want to live your life. At first you want to eat the whole jar of cookies because you can! No one can stop you! But there has to come a point where you say, you know, eating the whole jar of cookies makes me sick; it makes me feel like crap. It’s the place where you stop doing stuff just because you can, and start living the way you know is actually best for you and will make you happiest. Mom’s not looking over your shoulder anymore. You are in control of your life, and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.

Freedom is not the end all be all. The voice in our head that likes to derail our efforts at discipline loves to wave the grand flag of freedom in our faces. You can choose to do whatever you’d like-that’s the ultimate in freedom! You can sleep in until noon, and surf the internet instead of cleaning up, and stay out late instead of studying. Why would you want to reign yourself in with a schedule or goals?

What the freedom voice neglects to tell you is this: while everyone has the freedom to choose, you can’t choose the consequences of those choices. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. There’s no use fighting against the laws of the universe.

The only reward of unchecked freedom is freedom itself. So you spent the day doing what you want-surfing the net in your underwear-what do you have to show for it despite an extensive knowledge of how the next Batman flick is coming along? Without the feeling of personal progress and the satisfaction of real, hard-earned achievements, freedom alone feels completely empty.

Fix your core values first. Let’s say one of your core values is family. And let’s say you’re trying to lose weight while the relationship with your wife is crap. What do you think the odds are of your success? Pretty dang low.

Think of your life like a stack of cups. Your core values are the cups on the bottom, your foundation. What if one of the bottom cups is removed or is missing? The rest of the cups will fall. If you want to be successful in tackling other areas of your life, you’ve got to build on a rock solid bedrock of core values. It’s just like building a house. You can’t put in the jacuzzi before you’ve built the foundation.

Train your discipline like you train your body. Your self-discipline is just like the muscles in your body. When you first start working out, you’ll find that there’s a maximum weight you can bench press. You can try piling more weight on the bar, but it will just crush you. That’s your baseline strength. As you regularly work out and incrementally add more weight, your baseline strength will increase and you’ll be able to lift more weight and do more reps.

Your self-discipline works in the exact same way. Right now you have a limited amount of self-discipline available to you. If you spend it on one thing, you have less to spend on other stuff. If you use your willpower in controlling your diet, you’ll find it harder to reign in your spending. But as you keep flexing your willpower in an area, your self-control will expand and you’ll have more strength to discipline the other areas of your life as well. So don’t take on too much at once. Pick an area of your life where you want to exercise more discipline and work on it until your self-discipline grows and you gain the self-control to take on more and more challenges.

You Say You Want a Resolution?

Scott Hahn has his own take on resolutions for the New Year:

The year turns, and it’s time for us to take stock.

But taking stock is not enough, as you and I well know. Once we’ve sized up the previous year, we need to make resolutions. Once we know what’s working well, we pledge to make it even better. When we see something that needs to be changed, then we make like a linesman at a bowl game – and we plow into the new year with a firm purpose of amendment.

I resolve, first of all, to remember the marvels the Lord has done (see Psalm 105). If 2009 taught me anything, it taught me that this work – the work of the St. Paul Center – is not mine. Nor is it simply mine and yours. It’s the Lord’s work. Last year’s economy presented us with seemingly insuperable financial challenges. We expected to make deep cuts, out of necessity, in our programs.

God had other plans. If anything, our programs grew a bit, even as we faced them with sparse resources. In almost every case, the programs produced unexpected results, again in spite of our weakness. We thrilled to news of Bible-study start-ups, conversions of heart, and people suddenly unemployed or underemployed finding new opportunities for apostolic work.

The arm of the Lord is not shortened by recessions, wars, or opposition (see Isaiah 59:1). I’ve resolved not to forget this in 2010!

I’m resolving also to apply myself more zealously to improving conditions for our priests. This month is the halfway mark of the Church’s Year of the Priest. Our programs last year helped many clergy to grow deeper in their knowledge and love of the Scriptures – and then apply that growth to their ministry, especially in their homilies. Our clergy conference at St. Vincent Archabbey was a great success. Our Letter & Spirit Conference in Pittsburgh attracted a record number of seminarians (more than seventy) from eight seminaries. I’m resolving to put more effort and more prayer into the success of these programs when they repeat in 2010, so that we all can look forward to many “years of the priest” in our future.

I resolve, too, to press on with more Spanish-language programs this year. This is one of the most urgent requests I hear from readers, friends, and donors. They fear we’re missing an opportunity. They fear we’re not corresponding to a graced moment in history. I resolve to respond. At this time next year, you can measure the Center’s progress on this front.

In all these resolutions, it’s my burning desire to follow after our patron, St. Paul. In the Acts of the Apostles, he “resolved in the Spirit” to make tremendous apostolic progress – “to pass through Macedonia and Achaia and go to Jerusalem” (Acts 19:21). I want, however, to keep following St. Paul. He concludes his resolutions with a big one: “After I have been there [to Jerusalem], I must also see Rome.”

In May I will make a pilgrimage to the Rome with a hundred friends of the Center. We will pray for all these apostolic efforts. We’ll pray together for our friends and families to persevere in the faith. We’ll pray together for those who have strayed, that they may return. We’ll pray for those who may be on the road to conversion, that they may experience extraordinary graces in the months ahead.

Is there any chance you can join us? I’ll be there with my wife Kimberly, my friends and fellow Catholic authors Mike Aquilina and Steve Ray, and art historian and EWTN host Elizabeth Lev. We’ll visit the holy places, including some even I have never seen before! Our theme: “When in Rome … Study Romans!”

If you can’t go with us, please take our pilgrimage to your prayer. Take my resolutions, too. Pray that I’ll correspond to the graces God gives. I thank you in advance. I promise you my prayers in 2010: Resolved!

The Great Name We Wanted