Conquering Loneliness

The following comes from the Catholic Exchange:

In the 60’s the Beatles composed a song and an album: “Sergeant Pepper’s lonely heart-club band.” World-famous for this song and album, the Beatles were placing their finger on the pulse of the modern society, a society with many individuals suffering from a crushing and almost unsupportable loneliness.

There are many ways that individuals cope with loneliness; some are excellent, others are good to a certain extent, others are bad and still others are deadly. A crushing loneliness can grip an individual in such a way that depression sets in and he/she feels life has no real meaning and questions why even live. Some, even, contemplate a recourse to suicide.

Others do not go so far as to commit physical suicide, but they do have recourse to a slow form of damaging their lives; you might even call it gradual suicide. These are the individuals that seek and escape from the crushing weight of loneliness by having recourse to vices; these escapes that we call vices are many; we will mention a few. Drugs, gambling, drinking to excess, overeating, the use of pornography as well as the use of sexuality outside the context of sacramental and marital commitment. At times individuals have recourse to more than one of these vices as an escape from their crushing loneliness. The more dense and crushing the loneliness the more they cling to one or more of these vices!

This being said, what are wholesome ways that we can cope with loneliness in our lives and maybe we can teach others proper and correct ways to deal with this modern, prevalent reality?

For believers what will be explained will not be a huge surprise! The key to coping with a heavy and crushing loneliness can be summarized in one simple word: GOD!!!

1. GOD’S OMNIPRESENCE.  The word “omnipresence” means in the most simple of terms: God is everywhere! No matter where we go, God is present to us.  Indeed we can block God out of our lives, forget Him, be oblivious to His presence, or like an atheist deny that He even exists. Still this does not deny the fact that God exists.  I can say a wall in front of my face is not present, but if I walk into it I will bruise my face or worse yet even get a concussion.  St. Paul quoting a Greek poet encapsulates this concept with these words:  “In Him we live and move and have our being.”  The Psalmist expresses God’s omnipresence with utmost clarity and precision: “Where can I hide from your spirit? If I ascend to the heavens, you are there. If I lie down in Sheol, you are there too. If I fly with the wings of dawn and alight beyond the sea even there your hand will guide me, your right hand hold me fast. If I say, “surely darkness shall hide me, and night shall be my light. Darkness is not dark for you, and night shines as the day. Darkness and light are but one.”(Psalm 139: 7-12)

2. DIVINE INDWELLING THROUGH GRACE.  One of the hallmarks of Carmelite spirituality is that of the indwelling of the Blessed Trinity in our soul through sanctifying grace. If we conserve grace within our soul by avoiding mortal sin then not only are we surrounded by God (His Omnipresence), but He is truly present in the very depths of our soul. If we like we can talk to this Triune God—the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit as often as we like and as long as we like.  How great is our God!

3.  JESUS AS FRIEND.  In the course of the Last Supper discourse, Holy Thursday night, Jesus spoke very tenderly to the Apostles as well as to us. Jesus said:  “I do not call you servants because the servant does not know what the Master is about, but I call you FRIENDS…” What a consoling truth and what an efficacious remedy to overcome modern loneliness: to recognize, experience and cultivate a deep and lasting FRIENDSHIP with Jesus!  Engraved below a beautiful painting of the most Sacred Heart of Jesus are written the words in Spanish:  “Jesus, el Amigo que nunca falla.”Translation: “Jesus is the Friend that never fails us.”How true!  We all fail Jesus every time we decide to sin, but He never fails us. For that reason we read and meditate the words from the Book of Revelation: “Behold I stand at the door and knock. Whoever opens the door I will come in and dine with him and him with me.”(Rev. 3:20) Indeed striving with all of the fiber of our being to grow in friendship with Jesus can prove to be one of the most efficacious means to cope with loneliness and if we are struggling to overcome some vice—whatever it might be: drink, porn, drugs, despair!  Beyond the shadow of a doubt, Friendship with Jesus is the most consoling, solid, noble, satisfying, and capable of constant growth.

4.  UNLOADING TO MY FRIEND JESUS.  Years ago a wonderful moive came out in Spanish with the title:  Marcelino, Pan y vino. The essence of this film is this orphan-boy(Marcelino) adopted by the Franciscan community grows up with the Frailes and then Marcelino meets his best friend: Jesus as He hangs on the cross in one of the upper rooms. The little boy immediately strikes up a friendship with Jesus crucified. He talks to Jesus and Jesus responds to the little boy. Constantly, on the sly, the little boy visits Jesus and talks to Him. Not only does the little boy talk to Jesus but consoles Him with concrete gestures. Noticing Jesus’ bones jutting out, he brings Him bread and wine. Then he brings Jesus his blanket so that He would not suffer cold. The little boy seeing the head crowned with piercing thorns, he climbs a ladder to relieve Jesus of the suffering by actually taking the crown off His head.  Growing deeper and deeper in their friendship, something has always weighed heavy on the heart of the little boy—the absence of a loving mother. Marcelino opens his aching heart to Jesus about being orphan to the love of a mother. Jesus responds by allowing the little boy to see “His mother”. The movie culminates with a loud noise, the little boy falling back (actually dying), so that he is taken up to heaven to rest in the arms of Mary, his heavenly Mother. Therefore, a key element of coping with loneliness, conquering loneliness is not to deny our loneliness nor to deny our problems. If done our loneliness and problems will get worse. The key is to talk to Jesus as well as the Blessed Virgin Mary, Our dear and loving Mother about our loneliness and problems. Once a problem is shared with a loving heart the problem diminishes greatly or will even disappear.

5. JESUS: YOUR EUCHARISTIC FRIEND AND COMPANION. One of the greatest remedies to cope with or conquer loneliness is to establish a deep faith, confidence, and love for Jesus (your best Friend) in the context of the Blessed Sacrament, Mass, and Holy Eucharist. Establish a habit of visiting your Friend Jesus present in the Tabernacle in His Eucharistic Presence. Attend daily Mass if you have the time. Receive Jesus in Holy Communion with great love and devotion. After receiving Him in Holy Communion spend some time after Mass; close your eyes and talk to your Friend Jesus who is now living in the very depths of your soul. Tell Him everything that is on your mind, in your soul, all that is present in the very depths of your heart. This is the closest and most intimate union that can exist on earth—the union of our heart with the Sacred Heart of Jesus present in you after Holy Communion.

If we establish a deep and dynamic Friendship with Jesus and Mary in this life that crushing loneliness that we experience will be lifted like the sun that dissipates the early morning clouds, or like the dew that evaporates on the morning grass. Still more important, if Jesus is your best Friend now in time in this present world, then when we pass from this world to the next He will be our best Friend forever in heaven, where loneliness will no longer exist.

Therefore none of us have to belong to the Sergeant Pepper’s lonely heart-club band. Rather we belong to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

Look to Jesus

The following comes from Msgr. Charles Pope:

One of the great tasks in our spiritual and moral life is to fix our point of reference. Simply put, is Jesus Christ our point of reference, or is our reference point where we stand viz a viz others?

Many, today, in order to assess their moral state, consider their position in relation to the vast numbers of people that surround them. Perhaps they will consider that there are some who are surely holier than they are. Yes, surely internationally known figures (like Mother Theresa was), surely they  rank up there way above us. Perhaps too in a more local way, many will see the holy ones who attend daily Mass or frequent Eucharistic Adoration or other devotions, and conclude that these sorts of people rank ahead of them in holiness and moral excellence.

But then comes the dark side of such relative moral ranking. For many of the same folks will also think of others as behind them and with relief say, “Well, I may not be perfect, but at least I am not like that drug dealer over there, or that prostitute, or that corrupt businessman or politician.”

And thus, most of us who use this point of reference will rank ourselves somewhere in the middle, and feel reasonably content. But this sort of contentedness is not the sort of assessment that helps us to be zealous to grow in holiness. And, more problematically, how I rank among others is not a valid standard, or meaningful assessment.

For indeed, we must find and fix our true point of reference on Jesus. He is the Way we must walk, he is the Truth to whom we must conform, He is the Life we must live. Jesus must be our moral reference, our moral compass.

Someone say, “Lord have mercy!” For now the standard shifts from a mediocre, middle of the pack, “at least I’m not as bad as so and so” reference point, to the very person of Jesus who also added: “You must be perfect, as the heavenly Father is perfect.” (Mat 5:43).

Thus, when Jesus is our standard and point of reference, we can rightly and with true humility and hope cry out “Lord, have mercy!” For with our sights fixed on Jesus, pride cannot long endure, and true humility begins to flourish.

For looking to Jesus, we know it is going to take boatloads of grace and mercy to ever close the gap between his holiness and our present unseemly state. Only grace and mercy will help us meet the standard that is Jesus himself.

To illustrate, go with me to the upper room, to the Last Supper. And as Mark’s gospel relates,

As they were reclining at the table and eating, Jesus said, “Truly I say to you that one of you will betray Me—one who is eating with Me.” They began to be grieved and to say to Him one by one, “Surely it is not I?”(Mark 14:18-19)

“Surely it is not I?” And thus we see, none of us can be certain of our innocence in the presence of Jesus, in the presence of holiness Himself. Yes, in the presence of Innocence Himself, none of us are sure of our own innocence. Somehow, when Christ is our reference point, we see our truer state, and in a salutary grief and sober awareness of our capacity for sin, we simply and sincerely cry out: Kyrie, eleison! Lord, have mercy!

But now you see that we are thus equipped to trust Him, and to learn to depend on his mercy. He is not just the one who gets up over the top, or supplies what we lack. He is the one who has brought us back to life when we were dead in our sins! He is the one on whom we must wholly depend.

Too easily and smugly we rank ourselves among others, and too easily we falsely justify ourselves in this way. We grade ourselves on a kind of “moral curve” and thus become so easily prideful, self assured, and lacking in gratitude.

But when Jesus is our reference point, as He should be, we know our need to be saved. And perhaps we cry out the words of an old gospel hymn: “It’s me Oh Lord, Standin’ in the need of prayer!”

And looking to Him in this way, we may feel grieved, or overwhelmed, but in the end these are salutary, for they set the stage for, and usher in a kind of joyful humility and an immense gratitude, for what Jesus has done for us.

Knowing our unfathomable need for grace and mercy, how grateful we are to receive it! And being grateful, we are changed, we are different. Gratitude is a kind of joy. And when gratitude rushes into our chastened hearts, an awful lot of poison goes away. Anger, fear, resentment, ingratitude, greed, disappointment, desire for revenge, envy, jealously and so many other poisons, begin to vanish. And the joy of gratitude begins to usher in serenity, peace, love, generosity, forgiveness, mercy, contentment, and so many other gifts.

Yes, look to Jesus! Your neighbor is not the standard, not the point of reference, Jesus is. And while this look may bewilder at first, is is also a look that will save and bless us. Look! There is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world!

Our Lady of Guadalupe and True Human Nature

The following comes from Fr. Steve Grunow at Word on Fire:

Just a few days ago the Church marked and remembered the Immaculate Conception of the Mother of God. That solemnity commemorated the mysterious truth that the Blessed Virgin Mary was from the first moment of her conception preserved from the deleterious effects of original sin. This happened to prepare the Blessed Virgin Mary for her mission and purpose, which was to be the Mother of God- the singular and privileged means by which God would come into this world as a man, share with us a human nature, and live, like us, a real, human life.

The Mother of God did something no one else will ever do, and to prepare her for this, God permitted her to be unique in a way that makes her distinct from all humanity.  Because of her elevated dignity we might be tempted to think of the Mother of God as a heavenly creature exempt from worldly cares and circumstances. Reigning far above us in a heaven far away, Christ’s mother is beautiful, but remote. This perception would be a mistake.

The manner in which the Mother of God was privileged made her more human rather than less. She was and is a paradigm of all that a human nature is meant to be- “full of grace”- a representation to us of what humanity was meant to be and should have been if not for effects of sin. However, her privileged identity and unique mission doesn’t make her something other than a human being. Despite the honor the Lord grants her which is above any of the creatures of heaven, she is an earthly creature.

Thinking of the Blessed Virgin Mary in this way necessitates that we think differently from the manner in which we are accustomed to think about what it means to be human. We think that our own perceptions of humanity are the norm. But might there be a different norm or measure of what it truly means to be human? 

Our Faith reveals that the saints show us more about what it means to be human than anything else, and the Mother of God is a saint par excellence.

The Blessed Virgin Mary illuminates what God’s perception of our humanity is, revealing not only what we have become in contrast to her, but also what he intends for us to be as we are transformed by Christ’s life and presence. She shows us something about ourselves that we often fail to consider- that there meant to be more for us than our narrow minds and expectations will often times permit.

The elevation by Grace of the Mother of God sets her about a mission that immerses her into the human condition with an intensity that is as unique as her singular identity. This was the case during her life on earth and it remains the case in terms of her life in heaven.

Christ’s Mother continues to be about her mission. She is the Mother of the Lord and as such, he extends to her the role of being the Mother of all those he has made the children of God in Christ.

Throughout the history of the Church, the Mother of God has manifested her maternal care for the children of God in Christ in extraordinary ways. She has come to her children, appearing to them, revealing to them that just as the Lord abided with her as her Son, he abides with his people as Savior and Redeemer.

The feast we celebrate today, the commemoration of the appearances of the Mother of God in Mexico in the year 1531 to the Indian, Juan Diego, is one of many examples of the Blessed Virgin Mary’s continuing mission on behalf of the Church. Through her visitation to in 1531, the Mother of God brought her Son to the peoples of Mexico, and her invitation for all the peoples to know Christ and to serve him continues to resound from the great shrine in Mexico City that the Church built to honor Christ’s Mother- knowing that in honoring her, her Divine Son is himself honored. 

The story of Our Lady of Guadalupe reminds us that Christ’s mother continues to act on our behalf. She accepts us and loves us with the same maternal affection and care that she bestowed on Christ the Lord.

But the story of Guadalupe also reminds us of the bonds of grace that because of Christ transcend the ties of family, clan, culture or nation. Above and beyond all these earthly categories, we are members of the communion of saints. In the saints we see who God wants us to be and learn from them what it really means to be human.

And of all the saints in heaven, no saint teaches us this lesson and shows us what God wants from us more than the woman he chose from all women to be the Mother of Our Lord.

Can non-Catholics receive grace without the sacraments?

Pope Francis: Jesus can heal deadened hearts

(CNA/EWTN News)  Pope Francis delivered a Sunday evening homily at a parish in the south of Rome, preaching about the importance of detaching from sin through the power of Christ’s healing grace.

“All of us, we are sinners, but let’s not finish (our lives) attached to sin. We have the power to feel that which Jesus said to Lazarus, crying out in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come forth!’ Today I invite you to think for a minute here in silence… ‘where is the dead part of my soul? Where is my tomb?’” he urged the parishioners in St. Gregory the Great Church on April 6.

“Take the stone in your heart, and allow the Lord to do what he says, as he said to Lazarus, ‘come forth!’ so that all of our hearts might be healed, might be resurrected by the power of Jesus.”

The pontiff used the story of Jesus’ raising Lazarus from the dead to point out that everyone has a “tomb” in his or her heart, a place in need of new life.

Since “we are all sinners” there is “something--really small, really small--something internal, some parts of our heart that are not living. They are dead.”

Some people have “many dead parts of the heart,” and find it difficult to be free of sin, he noted.

“We want to get out of it, but we can’t. Only the power of Jesus is able to help us leave this dead part of the heart, this tomb that we all have.”

“We’re all sinners,” he acknowledged, “but we have to be attentive not to be corrupted by sin.”

The Pope then told the faithful that he wanted them to read the gospels, and would give them a copy so that they could.

“I want to give you a little copy of the gospels, and you bring it home to your house,” he said.

“Just carry it with you and read a little,” he encouraged, adding that the book is pocket-sized and easy to read anytime, like “when you are on the bus, sitting comfortably.”

“But don’t get too comfortable, or else they’ll pick-pocket you!” he jested.

Pope Francis had also given away copies of the gospels at the Sunday morning Angelus.

At the close of the Mass, the parish presented Pope Francis with a small gift: a new little black bag, similar to the old one that he carries during his travels.

The gift was small but “symbolic” said the pastor, indicating that just as Pope Francis carries the bag, he carries the parishioners in their faith.

A few hours before the Mass, Pope Francis met with the children and youth of the parish, the sick, the elderly, the engaged, and couples who recently had their children baptized, as well as members of an outreach dedicated to helping with the reintegration of ex-prisoners and ex-addicts.

Sunday’s visit was Pope Francis’ sixth pastoral visit to a parish in the diocese of Rome.

St. Gregory the Great Church was founded in 1963. Today it is served by the Marian Congregation of the House of Charity and the Missionary Sisters of the Immaculate Queen of Peace.

St. Therese and the Death Penalty

The following comes from William Dionio Jr. at First Things:

He was among the most notorious criminals of his time, and certainly one of the most brutal. Henri Pranzini—tall, charming, and charismatic—was a life-long petty thief who took advantage of vulnerable women in nineteenth century France, a vice that eventually destroyed him.

On the morning of March 17, 1887, the bodies of Marie Regnault, a prominent Parisian women, her servant, Annette Gremeret, and the servant’s daughter, Marie, were all found lifeless in an apartment. The New York Timesdescribed the terrible scene:

Regnault . . . was found on the floor of her chamber dead, her throat cut and her body terribly mutilated. Lying near the door leading from the chamber to the drawing room was the dead body of Annette, whose throat had also been cut, and in her bed in another apartment was little Marie . . . her head almost severed from her body by the murderer’s knife. It was obvious that Annette had gone to the rescue . . . and had been struck down by the assassin, and that the little girl had been murdered to put out of the way the only other witness of the terrible crime.

The motive was robbery—in this case, lucrative jewelry. When he was caught several days later, Pranzini indignantly protested his innocence, but signs of his guilt were everywhere, and the evidence mounted. In July, a jury took only two hours to convict him of the triple-murder, and he was condemned to die in August.

Shocking as it was, Pranzini’s crime would have likely been forgotten, had it not been for an extraordinary French teenager. Therese Martin—later to become St. Therese of Lisieux, and made a Doctor of the Church—was just 14 at the time, but she felt compelled to intervene. As she recounts in her autobiography, The Story of a Soul,she stormed Heaven for a man many thought beyond redemption:

Everything led to the belief that he would die impenitent. I wanted at all costs to keep him from falling into hell, and to succeed I employed all means imaginable, feeling that of myself I could do nothing. I offered to God all the infinite merits of Our Lord.

As Pranzini’s fate approached, Therese increased her prayers until he was brought before the guillotine on August 31. The next day, Therese read what happened in the paper and recorded how when he was about to put his head into the device, “he turned, took hold of the crucifix the priest was holding out to him, and kissed the sacred wounds three times! Then his soul went to receive the merciful sentence of him who declares that in heaven there will be more joy over one sinner who does penance than over ninety-nine who have no need of repentance!”

Read the rest at First Things.

Pope Francis: The sacraments will make you strong!

Trinity Sunday

The voice of St. Elizabeth of the Trinity, Carmelite and Mystic (Via Living Scripture):

I penetrate ever more deeply in this profundity. There is where the solitude resides in which God wants to attract the soul to speak to it, as the prophet sang. In order to understand this word full of mystery, we must not stop so to say, at the superficial. Instead, we need to go deeper into the divine Being through recollection. We must allow ourselves to slide down the slope with a confidence full of love.